Only 28 Percent Of Online Daters Are Satisfied
Online dating gets a little competition from local matchmaking companies
by Jess Wangsness
April 25, 2007
For many, cyberspace is the enchanted kingdom to find Prince or Princess Charming. And, for many, it sure beats sidling up to singles at the local dive bar on a Saturday night. But, as with many contemporary fairy-tales, first came popularity, then came the lawsuits, then came dwindling subscriber numbers.
With a slew of recent lawsuits against the Internet's most popular dating site, match.com, consumers worry that they'll be duped if they become paying subscribers. JupiterResearch, an international research and analysis firm, reported in 2006 that only 28 percent of online daters were satisfied with their service.
"When people try to find matches online, they become involved in unfiltered dating," said Barbie Adler, founder of Selective Search, a Chicago matchmaking company. "Whatever match they make is random. Those sites aren't really geared at promoting lasting relationships. If it happens, it's almost by accident."
After leaving her 10-year post as vice-president and co-founder of match.com, Trish McDermott criticized online dating sites in a series of interviews. She said that companies like match.com mislead consumers through aggressive marketing campaigns that make subscribers believe that they're guaranteed to find the loves of their lives. She also said that they have no way of screening the men and women who post profiles on the site. Which means that a subscriber could arrange a blind date with a married man who, in reality, hates sunsets, doesn't have any sense of humor and looks like a rhinocerous in jeans.
That dissatisfaction has inspired scores of single men and women to seek alternative options in Chicago. One is Adler's company, Selective Search, a boutique matchmaking service that carefully screens clients to ensure that a selection of men, who pay for the service, and women, who join for free, fit a classy profile: well-educated, professional, fit, attractive and cultured. Who doesn't want to meet someone who suits this description?
"We're going back to the brilliant basics," Adler said. "We're more consumer-friendly because we focus on every person who seeks our services.
"There's a brand for everyone -- everything from Walgreens to Gucci. We focus on exceptional men and women who are afraid to go online. They want to lead a private life, and they don't want their staff to see their profiles posted on the Internet."
While Selective Search focuses on a high-end clientele, the investment is priceless, Adler said. She has the numbers to back her up: 30 percent of her clients marry the person they meet after a first introduction, and 45 percent marry by the third introduction. But the service is pricey: men pay $10,000.
One client, Holly, who did not want her last name used to protect her privacy, recently met the man of her dreams, thanks to Selective Search's careful screening techniques.
"It's a mutual connection on a much broader basis than I ever could have anticipated," Holly, 56, said. "If I could have put all of my wishes in the universe, and then put them on paper, I couldn't have asked for more. I'm so absolutely pleased."
Before the online dating boom, matchmaking services provided singles exposure to men and women they might not otherwise meet.
"We just celebrated our 15-year anniversary," said Eileen Messier, founder of Chicago's Social Network. "We started when there was no such thing as online dating, and the industry has changed enormously.
"In the beginning, people thought that it would be a threat to our business. But our business has doubled since because people want a healthy alternative to the Internet."
At first Messier established the Social Network in an effort to create a community of like-minded people interested in friendship, romance, business or social involvement. Messier soon realized she had a talent for matchmaking after making a few introductions, and she decided to create Elan, an elite service that helps clients find fulfilling relationships.
Then four years ago, Messier had another epiphany: There were no local introduction companies that catered to men and women over 40. In response, she started Esse, a branch of her company that builds a social network for aging baby boomers. Many of Messier's clients have experimented with online dating and arrived at the conclusion that it's too time-consuming and potentially dangerous.
"The problem is that you just don't know what you're getting," she said. "It makes dating a drudgery. We've taken this big city and created a community in which people can find a stable relationship.
"We measure our success by losing clients, and that's a good thing."